Tag: changes

Transformation, Rebirth, and Brood II

I believe in the power of Names. In their primary function of identifiers, they’re not only used to give commands but also offer insight into the thing being named. When I tell people the name of my blog (or my email address, or Twitter handle, or Instagram), they inevitably ask, “Why cicadas?” The answer is usually more than they bargained for because as much as I believe in names, I also believe in symbols–and the cicada is a powerful symbol.

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When I registered my domain, QueenCicada was simply the screen name I had been using at that point. My blog was originally titled “Metamorphosis,” tying in with my transformative theme and insect infatuation. When I decided to rebrand, I wasn’t sure anyone would understand the tie or that it would turn off potential readers–but the truth is, the cicada is a symbol of beauty and creativity too. Cicadas turn up in a fascinating myth mentioned by Plato in “Phaedrus.” According to the heartbreakingly beautiful story, cicadas were originally human beings devoted to the Muses, classic Greek personifications of the arts. They sang their love for so long and with such depth of emotion that they couldn’t stop to eat or drink, never even realizing they had died. The Muses rewarded them by transforming them into creatures that neither eat, nor drink, nor sleep, able to sing and dance from the moment they are born until the moment they die. Humans enchanted by their music clearly recognize beauty in life, more susceptible to the call of the Muses than those than continue on with their lives, ignoring the insects’ song. But that’s not entirely where my cicada inspiration came from.

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When I’m in need of guidance, I often seek out a model or ideal. I’ve never been one to look to heroes or idols like celebrities as role models, so while some people aspire to the beauty of Marilyn Monroe or the charm of Audrey Hepburn, I’ve found my inspiration in more primal sources. As a child, I saw the cheetah as a guide to reconcile playfulness with grace, while I later looked to the turtle to develop a strong sense of home while learning to reach out and explore the world before me. I turned to certain animals at certain times based on what I knew of their nature and life cycle, trying to incorporate their ancient wisdom into my daily life. But the cicada came to me in a very different manner.

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Years ago, the tea shop I worked in got a ceramic tea pot in from China. It was a delicate basket-weave design, topped with a perfectly sculpted cicada on the lid. I was positively taken with it. Each day I worked, I thought about the insect on top, why it would be chosen to adorn something people would put on their table and drink tea from–in our Western society, insects are usually considered unclean and just generally icky. What little I knew about cicadas didn’t seem to clarify anything: I knew they were periodic, and shed their skins to transform their shape much like butterflies from their cocoons. What I learned was that they’ve been powerful symbols of immortality and life after death in the East. Their lifespans are remarkably long for an insect, and the shedding of their nymph skins is symbolic of a triumph over death, of life beginning again as one stage ends. It’s an incredibly powerful idea, and the more I thought about it, the more it moved me. My life, like so many others’, has been cyclical.When things seem to be incredibly difficult and impossible to move past, I’m often too frustrated and exhausted to recognize the valuable experiences that I ultimately take away.  It’s only looking back that I realize what an important period of growth I had completed and can experience the amazing rebirth as a result. I firmly believe the universe has a way of wiping the record clean when we absolutely need it: we can be reborn into new cycles.

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This week has been incredibly emotional for me: my area is beginning to see the first wave of Brood II. Just days ago, I watched as dozens of cicada nymphs emerged from the ground, perching on trees, plants, decks, walls, tables, or street signs to shed their skins and take to the air. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this event coincides what I’m sure is going to be a summer of self-discovery for me, one of my greatest periods of rebirth yet. Each one of those tiny nymphs represents a hope or dream I have for my future: some will tear through their skins and emerge mature and complete, while others will be trampled before they have chance, experience snags, or form improperly. My heart breaks as I see mangled wings, missing legs, blinded eyes, but I know that nature isn’t always kind and trust that it’s part of the universal plan. As long as some of those live on to give new life, to inspire future hopes and dreams, they’ve succeeded. It’s a standard I also aspire to.

The Paths We Take

Even as an adult, I don’t really know what I want to be when I grow up. The entire idea of pinning down a path for myself seems daunting. I’ve tried on a lot of hats–pastry chef, hair stylist, translator, illustrator, but none of them fit well for very long. We’re trained to think that everything has its place, but figuring out where our own isn’t always so cut-and-dry. In the past, each time I began to diverge from my chosen path, I viewed it as a failure: I wasn’t good enough, I was too flighty, I was impulsive. But taking a step back, I realize this was never the case. Each job I took, each course of study I completed taught me a set of valuable skills. I learned how to perform tasks that I could apply to numerous fields even outside that specific career. Each moment taught me more about myself, about what I enjoyed and what I did not, and what I identified with. I wonder if I might have decided to become a vegan had I not worked in restaurant kitchens, or if I would have explored the option of cosmetology had I not explored my theories on art in philosophy classes. Even when I fell out of love with jobs and schools, I learned valuable lessons about moving on.

Custom cake and gumpaste flowers I made around 2008

I love working as a makeup artist. I love learning my products, experimenting with techniques, teaching people how to emphasize their best features. It’s a rewarding career: there’s no feeling quite like turning the mirror on a client and watching their eyes as they realize the beautiful person in the mirror is actually them. It’s an honor to work with people on some of the most important occasions of their lives, knowing that you were a part of their memories and contributed to making their photographs beautiful reminders. But if I imagine myself 10 or 15 years in the future, I don’t necessarily see myself as a makeup artist down the line.

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Looking back, I always thought I would end up in the literary field. I love to write and constantly have fiction projects going, but I also love to read and edit other people’s work. My focus in art school was illustration, often taking inspiration from literature or my own projects for my work. And while my attention has shifted somewhat recently into fine arts, I feel myself being pulled back to illustration again. I’m interested to see what themes I end up exploring once the summer break comes and my work can become my own again. I appreciate the instruction and direction that my classes give me, but I’m always anxious to see how they’ve influenced me when I begin to produce pieces that are truly my own again.

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With school winding down in just a few weeks, I’m starting to plan my life for the next few months. In my memories, summer holidays were blissfully unstructured, breezy and carefree, but as I get older I feel like structure is no longer an option. It’s mandatory. Structure keeps my productivity up, and productivity it what keeps me sane. I’ve got some exciting new ventures on the horizon and I can’t wait to share them with you as they start to solidify. I’d like to think that by the end of the summer, I’ll be closer to answering that question everyone poses to themselves at some point: “what will I be?” I may never be able to respond with absolute certainty, but each aspect of myself that I explore brings me one step closer.

The Time Has Come

Over the last month or so, I’ve thought long and hard about what to do with this space. As a beauty professional, people often ask for my website as an example of my work. I generally try to keep my life compartmentalized: there’s my personal life, my professional life, and my online life and while there can be some cross-over I think I’ve done a decent job thus far.

This blog began as a space for me to explore my aesthetic influences and experimentations in whatever form they took. But as I’ve grown as a professional, I’ve begun to feel awkward posting here. The URL for this space is on my business card, my resume, the credits on my portfolio images. I don’t really want a potential client looking me up to find the All-Luna-All-the-Time Show when they likely expect a professional digital portfolio.

So I think I’ve solved my problem. From here on out, any post made on this site will be strictly professional: hair and makeup tutorials, reviews, images of work I’ve done on consenting models or clients. I will attempt to archive my older posts–I will not be deleting them, but would love to find a way to take them off my feed on the main page, accessible only by direct link or searching this site. I have created a new blog for my personal posts: entries regarding fashion, music, art, FotDs, literature, or any of the oddball posts I make on occasion. I can feel freer to discuss topics I’ve always been hesitant to talk about here. I don’t see myself becoming the chronic over-sharer that so many bloggers are these days, but I can let my hair down a bit more.

Right now, I’m trying to piece together the new blog and figure out how to archive old posts here. Hopefully, everything will be in place within the week. I miss writing and hope this will improve the quality of this site as well as my work.

Thank you for your patience.

Metamorphosis 17.0 – Blue Moon, a FotD, +more

Hello, Interwebs! It’s officially the end of November, and I have WON NaNoWriMo! I say win, but basically I finished the first draft of my novel in 27 days. It needs a lot of work to be what I had originally intended, but it’s as good a start as any draft can really be.

While I now have much more time to devote to this blog (and fully intend to go back to the thrice-weekly updates), I will be away for a week beginning tomorrow. Updates will be sparse, if at all, because I will not be bringing my laptop. That said, there will be plenty of update-fodder when I get back because I fully intend to photo-document everything on my trip!

Now, I give you my FotD:

I was itching to do a blue, blue, blue eye look, I’m not entirely sure why. I would have preferred it a little more turquoise, but considering I was only going shopping for some last-minute travel items, it was fine.

Full list of items used:

MAC Pro Longwear Foundation in NW20
Makeup Forever HD mattifying powder
Mary Kay mineral cheek color in Cherry Blossom
Sugarpill pressed shadow in Afterparty and Tako
Lime Crime magic dusts in Pompadour and Troubadour
Maybelline Line Stiletto eyeliner in Very Black
MAC Zoomlash mascara in Zoomblack
MAC Digidazzle lipstick in Hellraiser

The main reason I photographed this look, however, is to show off my new jewelry from Tilly Bloom!

I found this brooch on Etsy and knew I needed to own one of these whimsical little creatures. The black panther is one of my power animals and I thought one of these “pantherfly” pins would be an excellent piece to add to my wardrobe! I believe she still has some available, though they are available in limited quantities in gold and black.

When I untied the black raffia and opened the box, I was pleasantly surprised to find these adorable fox earrings as well! They are too cute, perfect for a quick winter accessory! –If you have the time, browse through her website: she makes so many fabulous accessories, it’s hard not to fall in love with everything at once!

And finally, I cut my hair. Again. I have a sort of hair-ADD, and really have no ability to stick with anything for too long. It also just keeps getting shorter and shorter: the last time I cut it, it went from shoulder-length (the longest it’s been in almost three years), to a chin-length bob on one side and pixie-short on the other, to just-plain pixie-short all over. My bangs are still rather long, if only because after seven or so years, I don’t know what I’d do if I could actually see the world out without a frame of hair to put it in context. It looks a little longer in these photos than it actually is, mainly because my hair-doing regimen involves smearing my hands with gel and running them straight up my head. Maybe I should just stick my finger in an electrical socket and save myself the gel-money. …or I could just shave it all off.

So there you have it: several points in the same update. I’ll be away until the 7th, but will still be as addicted as ever to Twitter (@queencicada) and possibly texting things to Tumblr, if it decides to let me do anything ever.

Love you to the Moon and Back,

Luna Valentine

Metamorphosis 13.0 – Product Review: Palty Turn Color Hair Dye

Sorry, Interwebs. Only a day late, right? Not three days in and NaNoWriMo is all ready kicking my butt!

You might have noticed that my hair is no longer mermaid-coloured. Unless, of course, that mermaid happens to be swimming in the Gulf right now, in which case I may still have mermaid hair. Although I washed my hair literally once a week, tops, use a very mild, colour-safe shampoo, and sometimes didn’t use any whatsoever, the purple did not last long at all. Within a week, it faded from vibrant shades of lavender and violet to more subdued white-pinks and finally turned completely gray. While I have nothing against gray hair, it became a pain to work with all the way around. My makeup simultaneously needed to brighten my complexion against the faded gray of my hair and yet remain subtle since anything too bold looked ridiculous.

I had agreed to go back to a more natural shade after the mermaid hair, but I absolutely could not find a dye that would take me from my current platinum-blonde/gray to my natural dark brown/black. Especially if I was trying to avoid harsh chemicals that had all ready fried my hair, I was out of luck. But I remembered hearing about Palty Hair Dye, renowned for its ability to lift dye-resistant hair. It’s a Japanese brand meant for Asian hair types, and while I am not Asian, my natural hair might as well be if we’re going by dye resistance. It took me five bleach sessions to get my hair blonde, and another three to go platinum. That said, Palty also makes a line called “Turn Color,” to return previously bleached hair to more natural shades of brown and black.

I picked up Palty Turn Color in Natural Black from JasMart over on St. Marks. It’s a little Japanese convenience and grocery store, so I figured they would have it (side note: I know the Mistuwa grocery stores also carry Palty products). I only bought one box, but for shoulder-length hair, you ought to buy two. I had to skimp considerably, and would have felt safer getting a more generous, even coat. According to the swatches on the back, medium-golden blonde should turn dark brown in five minutes and black within ten. I was considerably lighter than the lightest swatch, but I figured the worst that would happen would be brown hair instead of black.

Inside the box, there was an applicator bottle containing the developer, a brush-top for the applicator, a tube of creme colour, gloves, and a packet of conditioner. I did not use the gloves contained, opting instead for our always-handy box of latex gloves instead. The directions are entirely in Japanese, but you can find translations online if you can’t read it. Like any other dye, the creme colour goes into the bottle of developer and is mixed thoroughly. It tells you to apply as quickly as possible after being mixed, beginning at the nape of the neck where your body heat is slower to develop the colour. From there, work forwards, and wait ten minutes before rinsing.

The first thing my entire house noticed was the lack of ammonia smell. Anyone who has ever had their hair dyed can identify that nostril-searing chemical reek, even if covered by perfumes or extracts (if I recall, Garnier boxed dyes have a slightly fruity scent under all that ammonia). Palty dyes simply do not have that. Amazingly, the dye itself smells very floral, even a little fruity, and does not give off any harsh chemical odors at any point in the dying process.

The dye mixture applies very nicely. It’s rather thick, and if used with the comb attachment, you can be fairly certain that each strand is coated well and evenly. It applies stark white, so it can be a little difficult to see exactly where you have applied and what spots need to be dyed, but within minutes it begins to turn darker–just be warned, this cooks up blueish, like a dark indigo. My family was terrified I was going from purple to blue.

After application, I left it on for a bit longer than recommended–I know, follow directions, blah blah, but I get busy and lose track of time (and simply don’t believe in timers). Maybe instead of the ten recommended minutes, I let it sit for thirty. The only downside to over-processing here seemed to be a bit of difficulty in rinsing. Some of the dye may have dried on, and because of the dark colour, the water takes a while to run clear.

The conditioner, which shares a similar floral smell and supposedly contains camellia oil to recondition the hair, was lovely, but a little too little for my hair. Considering I only have shoulder-length hair, I take this to mean anyone with longer hair will definitely need two packets. My hair is ridiculously dry, so after I rinsed the dye out of my hair, I applied the conditioner as best I could and let it sit on my head for a while–normally I do this for 10-15 minutes, but I might have accidentally lost further track of time and let this sit for an hour.

The result immediately after dying: a dark, black cat black. My only complaint about the dye immediately afterward was a strange, lingering metallic smell. Honestly, I don’t know if this was a result of the dye itself or my sink (which was stainless steel and cleaned just before I rinsed my hair in it). Regardless, it lasted only until I re-washed my hair and wasn’t much of a problem.

One thing I had heard about Palty that appealed to me was the longevity of colour–most reviews I’ve seen said they managed to get three months or so before needing to re-dye. Unheard of! With most shades I’ve ever worn, I needed to re-dye at least once a month, with the garnet red and unnatural-shades at a staggering two-and-a-half weeks. Three months without re-dying would be magic!

Unfortunately, I began to notice fading about a week after initial dyeing. I’m not sure if this was because my hair was too light to begin with (it was at least two whole shades lighter than the lightest shown swatch), or because I used Natural Black when what I obviously wanted was Deep Black or Rich Black, or whatever they call their shoe-polish black colour. It wasn’t terribly noticeable to anyone else, and my family said they only noticed a distinct brown note to it, versus the inky black it started as.

All in all, if you want to take your bleached hair and go from blonde to black as quickly as possible, this is a very good product. I can’t speak for all shades, or even the bleach-based line (though they do have adorable colour names like “Ganache Tart” and “Mango Gelee”), but Turn Color Natural Black was just what I needed at the time.

You can see Palty dyes on the Dariya page here, or buy online at WebIchi. If you have a Mitsuwa Market or Jasmart or any other Japanese grocery near you, check the hair care and cosmetics aisle!

Love you to the Moon and Back,

Luna Valentine

Metamorphosis 7.0 – Grape Soda Wildflower

Grape Soda Wildflower

Some time around the last week of August, while desperately clinging to those last traces of summer, I decided my hair should be lavender. I’m not sure exactly what provoked the thought, but it became an obsession. The plan was to strip the deep garnet red out of my hair, then bleach it white, and allow it to stay platinum on top and graduate to shades of lavender and violet towards the bottom. I knew it would take work, but I also knew it was worth it.

I am no stranger to unconventional colour. In my life, I have had my mane dyed peppermint red, indigo blue, grape-soda purple, neon pink, rose-petal pink, tiger-lily orange, and magenta (not at all once, of course). No one could say my parents have been pleased, but their theory was, if my hair was the worst of their problems, then they were in good shape. As I’ve gotten older, though, my line of work has prevented me from doing what I want with my hair, leading me to spend the better part of the last few years in shades of natural-looking red. Announcing that I would soon have lavender hair, I was told that I was “not a mermaid, or a fairy,” and purple hair was a little unacceptable at my age.

mermaids come in a variety of colors

picture from Mermaid Melody Pichi-Pichi-Pitch

Well, dammit, I have dreamed of being a mermaid all my life. While Barnum almost burst that bubble for me, I think it’s important to live your fantasies and my dream of being a mermaid will live yet!

wildflower hair

My plan went into action: the red came out, leaving me shades of yellow, orange, and pink for weeks. The sherbet-coloured ‘do was rather novel at first, but it clashed with a lot of my makeup and in all made me look a little ill. So on went the bleach–but as I’m sure anyone who has had to strip out colour will tell you, the colour is stubborn, and things only lightened by shades. The pink faded to pale orange and everything else was a lighter yellow. I was getting frustrated.

rainy day wistfulness

About a week ago, I used another dye remover to lift out the last remaining bits of colour. It left me platinum, which I was able to tone to white, leaving my hair the perfect canvas for the lavender dyes. But when I went to apply them, I decided leaving the top white would look a little sloppy, and coloured over the whole thing.
I mixed two different lavender dyes, Manic Panic‘s Mystic Heather and Lie-Locks. Mystic Heather is more pink, which I applied to my entire head with a tint brush and rubber gloves, and Lie-Locks is distinctly more blue, which I tipped, streaked, and painted in over the other dye. When I rinsed, my hair was the exact colour of kudzu blossoms and my mermaid-hair dreams came true!

Unfortunately, it will only be staying until the end of the month. I know I need to give my hair a rest from the frequent bleaching and I probably need to cut a good deal of length off it to prevent further damage. But we’ll worry about that in November–maybe I’ll actually find out what my natural colour is again?

Used in these photos:

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural colour? What was it? How did it look? If you haven’t, would you? Discuss!

Love you to the Moon and Back,

Luna Valentine